Emotional Reasoning: A Dialogue Between A Therapist and Patient

A script for a video about emotional reasoning. It shows a hypothetical dialogue between a therapist and a young patient. The video would be for a wellness center seeking to show potential clients the kinds of emotional reasoning their therapists could use to help patients dealing with self-doubt.

Therapist: How are you feeling today? 

Patient: I don’t know. Not too good. 

Therapist: Ok. What aren’t you feeling good about?

Patient: It’s hard to say. My acting career, I guess. I feel a lot of doubt.

Therapist: What is it about your career that you’re doubting? 

Patient: Myself. I don’t feel like I’m good enough. 

Therapist: How would you describe that feeling of self-doubt?

Patient: It feels like I’m paralyzed. Like I’m stuck in some permanent brain fog and I can’t see a thing. It makes me feel like anything I touch will turn to mush.

Therapist: Tell me about how that doubt gets in the way of things you want or need to do.

Patient: Oh man. We could be here all day. 

Therapist: Just describe one scenario for me.

Patient:  I didn’t audition for a part I really wanted.  

Therapist:  Why not?

Patient: I guess I didn’t know my lines. 

Therapist: Why didn’t you study or practice them?

Patient: I don’t know. I usually do. But I just felt like I wasn’t good enough for a role like that. So what’s the point of even trying?

Therapist: Why did you feel like you weren’t good enough for that role? 

Patient: I mean, it’s pretty competitive. And I’ve never gotten a lead role like that.  

Therapist: But you got called to audition for it, right?

Patient: So? Doesn’t mean anything. Any two-bit amateur actor with an agent gets called into an audition like that.

Therapist: Hmm. I’m a bit confused.  You’re telling me it was competitive, but you’re also telling me your competition was made up of just amateurs.

Patient: Well…compared to me, they’re not amateurs.

Therapist: You knew the other actors auditioning?

Patient: No! I didn’t know anybody. I just don’t have experience with lead roles. I’ve only done commercials, worked as an extra, and at most, gotten a bit part. This was a lead role. 

Therapist: Ok. I’m not sure how the acting world works. But is it possible for someone who’s never gotten a lead role in a show to audition and land the part? 

Patient: ….yes. It’s possible. 

Therapist: So why not prepare for it and just give it a try, even if you didn’t feel like you were good enough?

Patient: Hmph. I don’t know. I just…didn’t think I’d be able to. It was a lead role. If I didn’t feel so much doubt I might have tried.

Therapist:  What if I told you that feeling of self-doubt is normal. We’re human. Doubting ourselves is often part of who we are.

Patient:  But I don’t want to feel that when I’m trying out for something I really want. 

Therapist: Nobody does. But we all do. We feel doubt, even when it comes to doing things we really want. 

Patient: Most actors I know feel sure of themselves. They go into the auditions they feel comfortable doing.

Therapist: And do they usually get the roles they want?

Patient: Probably not. But it’s a numbers game.  

Therapist: Well there you go. What do you have to lose if you at least give an audition a try?

Patient:  Time. Dignity. The way I look at it is if even the confident actors don’t get the role, then I shouldn’t even try if I feel doubt. 

Therapist: How do you know that the other actors don’t also feel doubt?

Patient: I can tell…by the way they carry themselves. 

Therapist: How can you tell that they’re not simply putting up a front? 

Patient: I guess I can’t tell how they really feel inside. Why does it matter? I don’t want to pretend to be confident about something. 

Therapist: Doesn’t pretending kind of come with the territory?

Patient: I guess. 

Therapist:  Let me ask you something. Have you ever achieved something in your life even though you weren’t sure you could? 

Patient: Hmmm. I suppose.  

Therapist: Well, the thing is, we’re often capable of doing more than we realize. Doubt can prevent us from even finding out—especially when faced with something we really want to do. 

Patient: Why? 

Therapist: Self-doubt, nervousness, anxiety—they are programmed into our brains. They are a byproduct of our evolution. 

Patient: Interesting. Why is that?

Therapist: Self-doubt is connected to the anxiety and fear of not getting enough food, or of becoming someone else’s food. Like a meal for a saber-toothed lion! 

Patient: Wouldn’t that doubt and fear lessen our chances of survival? When I think of how we evolved, I imagine a bunch of fearless cavemen walking around kicking ass. 

Therapist: Those cavemen had plenty to fear, and they probably had to run a lot of the time. But here’s the thing: they acted in spite of the fear and the anxiety. Ever read A Game of Thrones?

Patient: I saw the series. Why?

Therapist: Well, there’s a scene, in the beginning, when Brandon asks his father Ned: “Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?” His father replies:  “That is the only time a man can be brave.”  

Patient: Ha. That’s great. 

Therapist: What do you think Ned means, with regards to fear, anxiety, and self-doubt? 

Patient:  That being afraid is a part of being brave. Going through with something even though you feel like a chicken makes you brave.

Therapist: What benefits are there for humans—and animals in general—to feel fear, anxiety, or self-doubt?

Patient: I don’t know……maybe fear kept us on our toes. Worrying about some predator lurking would keep us alert. 

Therapist: Exactly. And luckily most of us no longer have to worry so much about things like that! What about self-doubt? Or feeling that we could do better? How do you think that helped humans in the past?

Patient: Um. Maybe it made us constantly look for ways to improve?

Therapist: Go on. In what ways? How?

Patient: I guess to fight better. To hunt better. To build better shelters. To get along better. 

Therapist: Excellent point. Because, you know, we humans didn’t just survive, we thrived. We kept developing and improving. 

Patient: Right. I just can’t imagine taking action when I feel self-doubt. I feel paralyzed. Like I can’t move or do anything. 

Therapist: In the past, we had a fight or flight or freeze impulse. If the danger was too great, we ran. But sometimes it was better to stay still until whatever predator was passing through finally left. These were life or death situations. Was failing at an audition a threat to your life? 

Patient: No, it wasn’t. It just felt that way. How can I go audition feeling fear? I’ll do a terrible job. 

Therapist: The first thing we do is feel it. And there’s a big difference between feeling it and feeding it. What do you think the difference is?

Patient: I guess one is to like recognize something is there and the other is to not add to it.

Therapist: Exactly. 

Patient: Ok, but how do you do that?

Therapist: You recognize that you’re not facing a life-threatening situation. Then you try taking long deep breaths. Then you try learning those lines. 

Patient: What if I fail?

Therapist: You keep trying. You keep failing. Each failure is another step forward. A new way to improve. A numbers game.  Soon you’ll be reciting those well-rehearsed lines at auditions like it was second nature. Giving it your best.

Patient: Ok. I’ll keep that in mind.